Mothering my way

Ad – A Collaboration with Dreambaby

I remember looking for houses last year, moving from our downstairs flat to a house, a real house with two floors and a back garden. Like a real grown up. And I also remember the dread of having a would be toddler running around with said stairs and feeling panic like nobody’s business. Then came Dreambaby.

Dreambaby invited me to select a safety item of my choice and there were such an array to choose from. Did I choose the play pen or the obvious choice for such a steep stairwell, a safety gate. What drew me to this particular gate was the design;a slick black colour that would match the exposed beams perfectly. Now I’m no interior expert and this house is rented but the beams were what sold this house for us. So to have a safety gate camouflaging nicely with the interiors as well as keeping Quinn contained – definitely wrong expression but it’s 9am on a Saturday and I haven’t had my coffee.

No matter what chapter of parenthood you’re in I’d highly recommend checking out Dreambaby for a babies and toddlers on the move and in the home. Our next milestone is potty training so you can be sure we’re heading back here for a shop!

CBT Update, the halfway mark.

I am so so proud of myself. I’m doing so well, I have my urges and compulsions fighting and some days they do win, but I’m still kicking anxieties ass regardless.

I’ve always likened anxiety to that ex boyfriend, the one who ghosted you, the one all your friends tell you to leave alone but the second it turns up you find you’ve welcomed back in to opens arms and passed a cold beer from the fridge. What ARE you doing Bec? You then get to the point when you finally see from the outside the negative impact it has had, is having and will have on you. How tired you are. How little energy or interest you have in things anymore. How you can’t remember the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt. That is anxiety. The bastard.

I won’t bore you with the background, as I’ve done in several posts before. Now I’m showing you the benefits of cutting yourself free (ick, I’m sorry for the awful clichés) and being the best version of you, for nobody else but you. I’m currently on session 5 of 10, high intensity. There’s homework and there’s emotions and feelings creeping their little heads further out each time. Last time we sort of hit the nail on the head as to the potential origin and it was a slight light bulb moment. I left feeling convinced this was why I’d been the way I was for so long and harboring something for 20 plus years. I’ve been having a lot more fuck it’s than what ifs. Alot of maybe selfish from the outside moments but ultimately putting myself first. I’ve always been the maternal moper. I can’t do this because this might happen, or it’s not fair on so and so. Fuck it and fuck them. Not literally, slightly illegal in some counties.

I hate to be that preachy blogger but, do you. Be you! Love you. Treat yourself with the same kindness you treat your best friend, take yourself on dates, go see that movie alone. I’m halfway through my journey, have you started yours yet?

Travels with a Toddler

We were kindly invited to Coastal Cabins, a luxury glamping site situated in rural Devon. A treat for the birthday boy and a break for Mum and Dad – perfect! As neither of us drive we travelled down via coach, a first with a toddler and it wasn’t as hectic as we’d planned. We can’t speak for all toddlers of course, and we probably shouldn’t brag how easy it was but hey, here I am writing about it.

Firstly, being those parents, we ensured we could use the car seat on board the Stagecoach bus, spoke with the driver beforehand and hey, here’s the secret – a bag of snacks of toys. All depending on your children’s dietary requirements but we had sandwiches, fruit, grilled chicken and a chocolate or two. We downloaded a number of his favourite Little Baby Bum and Cocomelon videos incase we lost signal and packed his favourite toys of the moment. The trip down was broken up with a gifted stay at Premier Inn, Bridgwater. Excellent service, food and welcoming staff, looking back we may have just pushed through with traveling on same day but that was just due to timing!

Day two – off we went, few hours later, one big nap and onboard poopy nappy change we had arrived. We were a little lost but our host at Coastal Cabins (gifted) was just a mere call away, even at 8pm at night she wa happy to direct us to their Cabins. All three of us were tired so we threw our bags in and lay down for the night.

‘Have you tried not being anxious?’

So, a long overdue post about my everyday fight with anxiety and my new found attitude to kick it to the curb. You ready? Inside the mind of a chronically anxious mother? Then please do read on.

I suffer with health anxiety, and health anxiety suffers with me. Mixed with this are elements of Obssesive Compulsive Disorder often linking the two together. I started feeling anxious about my health began when a close family member was diagnosed with a skin cancer in 2015. It wasn’t something that directly affected me at the time, but more lay in the background until deciding to rear its ugly head and bully me every since. I don’t like to seem as though anxiety is winning but this is where I’m at in my journey at the moment and I’d rather portray an honest story. I feel like I don’t have the control over it, or the understanding, that I’d like. I can’t stop the urges and the compulsions and they niggle at the back of my head until I’ve checked the backdoor for the 5th time or until I’ve checked that ‘bump’ on my leg for example isn’t bigger (even typing this I want to check, but I won’t…). Often these are minor things nobody would notice or entertain.

I’ve started a high intensity CBT course and I’m already noticing the benefits. We’ve not yet touched upon distraction techniques but I’ve noticed a change in my attitude and the will to get better. Now Quinn is older, he’s noticing a lot more and often looking at me to teach him behaviours. And though I’m shouldnt be ashamed of my mental illness I am. More of the fact I’ve let it continue for 5 years and ruin my relationship* but it’s why I’ve chosen to document my journey. I want to normalise mental illness because so many of us feel isolated. So many of us feel as though there is no help and this is how it will be, and it isn’t. I reached out to my GP because of how consuming and exhausting my anxiety was. One thing after another, something new, several at once. I was having more bad days than good and it was distracting me from the being the best version of myself.

Each week I will write what I’ve learnt and how I’m feeling, hoping that someone reading will relate and understand it’s even though its OK to feel how to do, you shouldn’t punish yourself for having a mental illness. Just like you’d go to hospital for a broken leg, it’s completely normal to go for a broken mind.

Love a little more – a letter to myself

2018, the year I became a mother. Pregnancy felt a lot longer than the 10 months, not sure if it was because it was during those horrendous summer months or because I had every pregnancy symptom going. I always said I’d never complain because they’re are those who’d give anything to suffer morning sickness if it mean carrying a child, so for that I was grateful. Those mornings I was sick I felt Quinn was letting me know he was ok, if I wasn’t sock I would worry.

Aspace Collaboration

We were kindly gifted some products from the fantastic Aspace, an online children’s furniture store. They offer bedding, Giraffe Storage bag mattresses and nursery decor from newborn to older children. As we’ve decided on a jungle versus circus theme for Quinn’s new room it so hard to choose from such a beautiful range.

I eventually the Geo Elephant Notice board (RRP: £39) to use as a photo memory board of his first year. I also chose the Giraffe Storage bag (RRP: £25) and I’m still deciding whether to use as a laundry bag for Quinn’s room or for his vests and sleepsuits.

The quality is incredible too and they look beautiful in his room. You can see below now it’s starting to come together. We are adding extra pieces and will be making purchases from Aspace as we do.

They have a fantastic free delivery on all orders, with no catch at all and there’s a 10% off across there website so go grab some deals!

Thank you so much for the gifts Aspace, can’t wait to finish Quinn’s room!

Aldi Baby Event

Who doesn’t love Baby Events? Before I even fell pregnant I would always coo over baby clothes and toys. It’s even better when they’re great quality and you don’t need to break the bank to treat your little ones.The Aldi Baby & Toddler event is back in stores tomorrow (25th April) and you can find yourself some AMAZING pieces.We were kindly gifted a beautiful package from Aldi HQ which included a Travel Cot, sleepsuits and a few toys and books. The buggy book is so handy for when we’re out and about and Quinn is a little restless. He quite likes to sit on my lap and chat away to the bus passengers (yes we use public transport). The travel cot we used as a playpen on the lovely sunny bank holiday we had recently and he was happy as Larry!

There are some fantastic bargains you can get your hands on too like a Pop Up Mamia Travel Chair perfect for those sunny picnics in the park or 3 Pack of sleepsuits in various designs and colours.

I plan on picking up some of these Nuby Suregrip Mat which look perfect for our weaning journey. You can’t beat those prices can you?!

Let me know what bargains you pick up in the comments – happy shopping!

Family Fun at the Sea Life Centre

We were kindly gifted a visit to the Sea Life Centre in Birmingham, so as a family of three we popped along on Tuesday afternoon. Now I’ve been a number of times in the past but this was my first time as a mother, and nothing quite beats seeing the wonderment on your little ones face. It amazes me that this was the first time he’s seen such beauty. We met clownfish, seahorses, sea turtles and for the first time ever I saw an upside down jellyfish who just wait for their prey to come to them – the life eh!

The lighting on the centre is suited for needs of those living there so my photo quality isn’t the best but I experienced first hand Quinn’s smiles and constant stroking of the glass – do I have a future Aquaman in the making?

The Sea Life Centre is perfect family day out, there is so much to learn and fun for all ages. Our favourite was walking under the glass bridge to meet the sharks. What’s your favourite part of the centre? Have you taken your little ones yet? There are many ticket and price options including combi tickets saving 39% if you book twenty four hours in advance – this ticket gets entry into both Sea Life and Legoland Discovery (Birmingham only) or if you fancy a simple Mum and little one day out there’s the adult and toddler ticket for just £14. Children under three, are free! Even better.

Please enjoy a small selection of photos from our visit 🐙

Cookie Dough Kids – a collaboration

I was approached by Cookie Dough Kids to work alongside them in a Blogger Ambassador program and I couldn’t have said yes any quicker. They are a Mama ran business and who specialise in personalised, boutique items of clothing for baby, toddler, child AND mama – with home items and accessories!

My first purchase was a gorgeous Liberty Print London baby gro with Q letter which I unfortunately haven’t got any photos of! But see an example below.

I was kindly gifted a MAMA teeshirt which I love, I got to choose the font colour and style and of course I chose leopard print (does it ever go out of style?!) I wear this with my cropped high waisted jeans that I can finally fit in again (yay!) and my doc martens. It fits quite snug and the quality is amazing! It’s so soft and is very versatile – dress it up or down.

Whether you’re looking for a first ‘welcome home’ outfit for your newborn, birthday outfit or just love cute, independent clothes supporting fellow Mamas I highly recommend Cookie Dough Kids. Grab yourself some bargains using code Rebecca10 at the checkout.

Half a year of you, my boy.

One whole year ago today I had announced my pregnancy. I remember typing up what I wanted to say quite early on and was scared I would jinx it. I was so, so nervous at the first scan – I wouldn’t look at the screen because I was worried something would be wrong or he wouldn’t be there and I had imagined it all (I find it bizzare how small they actually are at 12 Weeks!) As pregnancy went on, and scans continued I couldn’t wait to meet my little boy. I idea how much I would love him and how quickly time would fly by.

Those first few days in hospital were hard, we were kept in and rushed to children’s emergency neonatal ward when he was just a day old. I still think about the other Mums in those wards, how their little ones are doing. One lady had been there for all six weeks of her little girls life and there was I in floods of tears after one afternoon. When we were finally home I was terrified. There was a tiny human in my lounge and he needed me. This feeling of fear and protection is only something a new mum could understand. Months went by – he smiled at 5 weeks, laughed at 8 weeks, and did nothing but sleep for the first three months. I remember wanting him to start interacting more I just can’t remember when he did. He suddenly went from this mini snoozing human to a laughing, sassy, sitting up, eating actual real food almost crawling little boy. He likes bus rides, attention and mash potato. We have inside jokes, made up little games, we have our own routine and I’m always nattering away to him (even if he’s asleep). I have no idea what I’m doing, but do any of us? But I’m enjoying the absolute beaut of an adventure we’re both on together.